I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
