My first STD was from a foam party
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
