I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
