I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
