I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
