roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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