I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
