I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
