my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
