Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
