Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
