how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
