Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
