Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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