best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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