I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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