YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
