You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
