No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
