dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have fence marks all over my body
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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