are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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