I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
