That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
