Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
