he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
