Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
