Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
