Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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