Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You should frame my arrest warrant.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
