Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I have fence marks all over my body
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
