He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
