They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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