There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
