the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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