She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
