Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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