The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
