I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
