Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
