he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
