I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
