how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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