my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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