I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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