I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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