Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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