He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
