Only a mothe r could love this liver
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
