planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
