at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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