What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
