and you said cock pushups were impossible
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
