i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Do vagina's smell?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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